Bad kitty

If Ollie were really a kid (instead of just getting treated like one) he would be sitting in the corner right now. That little bugger is having quite the night.

I just pulled him off of a pile of fancy dresses that I had placed on the floor for literally two minutes, (ok, overnight) and he chewed into my arm like a snake injecting venom. You know- when they grab and don't let go but keep pumping their little fangs to get the poison in there deeper... yeah like that.

But that was just the topper, that was after I found the present that he left for me. Based on smell and mold growth I'm dating this little puke present at last Sunday night- the night that my roommate Claudia had her little birthday party and I left Ollie alone in my room to fend for himself rather than pretend to want to hang out with a bunch of 20-year-olds. I should have known he'd get back at me.

I just didn't see this one coming. Ollie is way less vindictive than he used to be when I was shooting medicine in his mouth every other minute. But, he must have felt that I deserved a well-placed puke present in my closet, under clothes, where I wouldn't find it until many days later when the smell gave it away. Speaking of smell , my g-d damn roommate just left the house, which means that he has sprayed a crop duster amount of old spice and the smell is wafting though every room of my house and getting into my pores. If given a choice I would take the Ollie puke smell over this.

In fact, I think I'm not mad at Ollie anymore, I feel my anger shifting towards old spice and all the 'I'm stuck in the late '9os when I was young and full of promise and actually had a chance at getting a date ' sadness that it represents. If I never smell old spice again it will be too soon. Did I mention that old spice makes a body spray, deoderant and a body wash in addition to their cologne. Oh, and Diego owns all of them.