Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Spolier alert: it was not a beanie baby


Have you ever picked up a glass thinking it was milk, only to take a drink and realize it's orange juice instead? It's disgusting, right? because your expectations were one thing, and the reality another.

Now imagine that the milk was a beanie baby and the orange juice a dead rat. That's pretty much what happened to me the other night in my bedroom.

There I was sitting on the floor putting on my shoes when i leaned back and put my hand on the floor just underneath the bed. I felt something soft, (yes, soft) and thought to myself, "oh, I must have dropped a beanie baby down here," This was not a strange thought since I had just gotten rid of a bunch of stuff, including beanie babies. So, instead of screaming, I pulled the furry thing towards me0fully expecting to see a cute little stuffed animal.

As you have all guessed, it was a dead rat. Freshly dead by the looks of it. I screamed so loud my rommates came running. Then I washed my hand four times. Then I freaked out trying to pick that thing up while keeping as many layers of paper towel between my hand and it. Then I washed my hands again-twice.

You may be thinking, but wait, isn't this the cat who once threw a dead bird in the air bouncing it from wall to wall in the hallway? The cat who once left what I called a 'mouse buffet' of no less than five dead mice in a row for me to find just inside the front door? The cat who frequently eats a mouse and then throws it up, leaving a cat trachea sized tube of mouse entrails and bones on my bedroom floor? Yes, this is that cat.

I believe it was the element of surprise that threw me off, because as you see, I am used to finding dead things in my house. Why he hid it under the bed I will never know. Perhaps he was saving it for later? All I know is, as traumatic as it was, I'm just glad I found it before it started to smell.

P.S. did you look at that Ollie photo closely? If you did, you'd have noticed the tiny tail hanging out of his little mouth....

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Shelly is totally showing me up

Have you guys been following Shelly's posts over at These are the Salad Years? She is totally showing me up. She is hi--larious, and prolific at blog writing and insightful and she tells you things that I'm not sure I'd put on the internet and -in short- she is a rocking blogger and I'm jealous. I haven't posted in forever. I get sick of the internet at work, and frankly I think twitter is taking over the brain space once reserved for useful pursuits.

I am also weak, because everyone time sit down to do a blog post Oliie gets upset because I'm not paying attention to him and I get up and give him attention and abandon my post. Shelly posts things and she has ACTUAL children. How does she do this? Ollie is meowing at the door right now and giving me kitten eyes. I am ignoring him.

Would it be a cop-out if I start making lists? It would be a lot faster. Here is a list of the new things in my life.

1. I hired a friend of mine who just actually happens to be a trainer to train me for my yosemite trip and bathing suit season, respectively. After my first session with her my pecs hurt so badly that it was painful to go bra-less.

2. Dena and I are hitting the gottschalks going out of business sale today before other people with common shoe sizes such as our own get all of the cute shoes.

3. My parents and little brother Chris will be in town sunday and monday. yes it is a weird time for a trip. Chris has a tennis tournament in SLO. While they're here I'm going to make them dinner at Anthony's house, get my dad's help buying a new pair of tennis shoes (hes' an expert) and give my mom the earrings i got her for her birthday from etsy.

4. Ollie is now waiting patiently outside my bedroom door. He does the same thing when I'm in the bathroom.

5. I can hear my phone ringing and it is Dena's ring. She's expecting me to be ready to go and I'm not. Better get dressed.......